Monday, December 3, 2018

Sunset


SUNSET


By William J Bowles

     That day started out like any other. I woke up, showered, ate breakfast, checked all my social media feeds, etc. Then I went down stairs to check the mail, and that's when it started to get interesting.
     I got down to the apartment lobby (though to be fair, calling it a lobby would be a bit generous, but it's fine) just as the mailman dropped a few letters into slot number seven.
     Just as he turned away from it, I unlocked the compartment and retrieved its contents.
     One of the letters caught my attention, and I knew it was going to be a big deal. Not for me. No, this was for Phoebe, my roommate. And it was not the sort of matter to set aside. She'd want to hear about it immediately.

     "Hey Levi. What's up?" Phoebe said when she answered my call. Her voice was calm and cheerful, which was pretty much her emotional resting point.
     "Hey. There's a letter here for you," I said. I was sitting in the kitchen, still looking at the letter that was not for me. The writing on the envelop was elegantly written in an iridescent golden ink. It was beautiful-- both the penmanship and the ink itself.
     “You called me to tell me I had a letter?” she asked. “Just... set it with the rest of the mail and I'll check it when I get back.” She didn't sound irritated. More confused as to why I'd call her over such a matter. So I told her.
     “It's from the House of Eighty Eight.”
     “What?!”
     “The House of Eighty Eight,” I repeated. “You know, that's the--”
     “I know what the House of Eighty Eight is, Levi,” she said. “That was an exclamation, not a question.”
     “Okay.”
     She was quiet for a moment. “Describe the envelop.”
     “Normal paper-y color...” I began.
     “The ink, wise guy!” she shouted, though more impatient than angry. “What ink did they use? Because if you called me about what you know is just another--”
     “It's this trippy golden ink with a sorta rainbow shimmer to it.”
     The line was silent for several seconds, and I almost thought we'd gotten disconnected.
     “Hey, Pheeb? You there?”
     “You're not messing with me, are you?” she asked at last. “Because if you are...”
     “I swear to God! Rainbow-y golden ink. Does that mean--?”
     I could hear her squeal with delight.
     “Oh my god!” she cried out. “Stay right there, Levi! I'm on my way! Don't open it, don't mess with it, don't let anyone into the apartment!”
     “I thought you had a thing, or something,” I said, rather lamely.
     “Forget about the thing. It's a dumb thing and it doesn't matter anymore. I'm on my way!”
     “Hey, Pheeb?”
     “What?” she said, sounding impatient, as if I were physically barring her from returning.
     “Could you stop by the doughnut place and get me an apple fritter?”
     “A pox on your apple fritter,” she declared, and hung up.
     Don't worry. It's a running joke between us.

     The knock came sooner than expected, and I almost thought it was someone else. But I saw her through the window, so I let her in.
     Not the front door. Not the one I use. But the door by the kitchen window. (It wasn't easy to find an apartment with one of those.)
     As she stepped in, a house fly flew over and landed on the window sill next to her. She swung her little purse at it, and it flew away.
     “Sorry, I thought I got rid of them all,” I said. I can can tolerate a fly or two, but I knew they were a huge nuisance to someone who stood just four inches tall.
     “Never mind the fly. Let me see the letter!” she said, her dragonfly wings flittering with excitement.
     I set the envelop on the window sill for her to see.
     She stood over the mark of the House of Eighty Eight and examined it with great care and interest.
     Satisfied, she stepped back and looked up at me. “Open it.”
     I took the envelop and ever so carefully unsealed it and looked inside. Then I turned it upside down and tapped out its contents for Phoebe.
     A tiny, fairy-sized letter floated out.
     “What does it say?” I asked, though I already knew at this point. It was only the one thing she obsessed with most in life.
     “I've been invited to the Goodweather Ball...” she said in a sort of reverent whisper.
     “Awesome. That'll be fun.”
     “But Levi... what do I wear?”
     “Don't you have like, a dress or something?”
     She stared at me, aghast. “Maybe something for a mundane event, like a celebrity funeral or my own wedding. But this is THE Goodweather Ball! Hosted by THE House of Eighty Eight! One does not show up in peasant garb to the Goodweather Ball, Levi! It's a traditional fey event, I have to wear something of traditional fairy-make. There's going to be actual fairy royalty there! I can't go in what I have! What am I going to do?”
     “You... didn't plan for this at all?” I asked. “I mean, you were the one who's been trying to get invited all these years.”
     “Yeah, but I didn't think it'd actually happen!”
     “Okay, don't freak out. We'll get this figured out.”
     She ran her fingers through her hair, pulled on her antennae, and groaned out loud.
     I thought for a moment. “When is it?”
     “'Bout six months from now.”
     “See? Plenty of time. We'll figure it out.”
     She let out a long sigh. “I know. I know.”



     One day, about three months later, I knocked on the door to Phoebe's room. It wasn't so much a room in the same way we humans have rooms. It was only the size of a closet, but it was divided up into numerous smaller rooms. My one room was many times larger than all of hers together, but she effectively had an entire house to herself within the apartment.
     I knocked on the tiny fairy door to her bedroom.
     “Yes?” she asked.
     “Hey, I'm going over to the mall,” I began. “Couple of things I need down there. Wanna come with?”
     “Do we get to pester Linus while he's working?”
     “Well, yeah. That accounts for at least two of the things on my list.”
     “Okay then! Just give me a sec.”
     She stepped out a minute later and saw that I was carrying a package under one arm. It was wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string.
     “What's with the box?” she asked.
     “Oh, this? It's for a friend of mine. Again, one of the things on the list.”

     We took the bus that goes to down town. There was another fairy on the bus, in the small, overhead seating area, and the two of them talked for a while.
     There was also a brownie seated up there, with a clear orange pill bottle as a backpack. I wondered what chore or errand he was doing, but they rarely talk, preferring to keep to themselves. Some times, I wish I knew what was up with those guys.

     At the mall, we strolled about at a leisurely pace. That is to say, I strolled about at a leisurely pace, and she rode on my shoulder. Occasionally she flew here or there, and sometimes had me go one direction or another. But for the most part, she was content to sit or stand on my shoulder and go along where ever I went.
     We stopped by the footwear store and made Linus do things for us. “Do you have these in a size eleven?” “No, no. I meant eleven in fairy sizes.” “Okay cool. Now go see if you have it in nine and a half.” “Nine and a half, human size.” “Oh, I don't want those shoes, I was just curious.”
     Our teasing may seem mean, but as long as he was taking care of us, he didn't have to do anything else. Plus, whenever we did that, we'd swing by at the end of his shift and treat him to ice cream, a fancy pretzel, or some other mall-based treat. Today, we got a couple of doughnuts. I got an apple fritter and let Pheobe take a tiny piece, as the thing itself was about ten times her size.

     We went from shop to shop, mostly just looking around. I did in fact have things to do, which I did. The mall trip wasn't entirely a ruse. Only mostly.
     On the way back to the bus stop, we passed by some of the stores in the fancy shopping center. I stopped, and pretended to be surprised by something.
     “Oh, look at that,” I said.
     “Huh? What?” Phoebe asked.
     “It looks like there's something going on at Glasswing's...”
     I looked over at her, and she eyed me suspiciously.
     “What's going on?” she asked, clearly not buying my weak attempt to feign ignorance.
     “Nothing,” I lied. “It's just that you have that ball to go to, and we find ourselves here at Glasswing's-- a high quality fairy clothing shop...”
     She stared at me, waiting.
     “Why don't we ask if they do traditional style things?”
     “You planned this all out, didn't you?” she asked, trying to look offended, though I could see a smile forming from the corners of her mouth.
     “I cannot confirm, nor deny that remark.”
     “Whatever, let's go look anyway.”

     It was a human sized store, but clearly only for the purpose of big dumb chauffeurs like me to bring their fancy fairy employers. Because little more than the front lobby-- and unlike our apartment, this was a legitimate lobby-- was sized for human locomotion. Everything else was an ant farm of tiny rooms full of elegant little clothes, with pretty little fairy folk walking and flying about.

     A smartly dressed fairy came down to greet us.
     “Hello,” he said. “How might I help you?”
     Phoebe didn't really know what to say. She hadn't planned to come here. But I had.
     “My friend was invited to the Goodweather Ball, and needs something, like, traditional...?”
     The store representative almost gasped, and Phoebe looked a little embarrassed.
     “Oh, what I wouldn't do to attend!” he said, a bit dramatically. “But yes, we do. However... because of the aforementioned ball, we find ourselves limited in supplies.”
     “That's alright,” I said, before Phoebe could reply. “We'll be supplying the materials. At least most of it. We mostly just need someone to make the dress.”
     She turned and stared at me. Up until this point, she thought we were just looking around. Maybe scoping the place out for any possibilities. Or perhaps just to daydream about the fine designer items. She knew I had planned to come by this way, but had no idea how deep my plotting had run.
     “Oh?” he said. “Do you have the materials with you?”
     I nodded, and placed the package I had been carrying with me on the counter. I untied the string and unfolded the paper wrapping. Inside was a wooden box. I gently removed the lid and withdrew the contents. Inside was a carefully prepared, shiny-winged insect pinned to a small board.
     “A... a butterfly?” Phoebe asked.
     “That,” I said, “is a sunset moth.”
     Both fairies walked around to examine it better. At first, its wings seemed to be black and sky-blue striped, but the iridescent blue turned green, orange, and reddish pink at times, as the viewer looked at it at different angles. The body of the moth was covered in orange fur.
     “A fine specimen,” said the employee.
     “Levi...” Phoebe said in wonder, her hands to her mouth. “It's beautiful...!”
     “Think nothing of it,” I said.
     “Well, would you like to have your measurements taken now?” he asked. “I do remind you that we are rather busy, so I can't promise we'll be available to do a custom job later.”
     “Um... yeah,” Phoebe said. “I mean...”
     “I think that's a 'yes',” I told him.
     “Very good,” he said.
     He and an older fairy lady escorted Phoebe off to... wherever it is that they do measuring and such. A small battalion, it seemed, came and took the moth-- board and all-- off to... wherever it is that they do the dress-making.

     We left them our contact information, and Phoebe was called in a couple of times for adjustments and such. I'm not sure of what part she had in its creation or design, if any. But I wasn't invited. Every few weeks or so, she'd just say “I'm off to Glassing's! Be back later!” and dart out her little door by the window.

     The day of the Goodweather Ball, we both went down to Glasswing's together.
     I waited in the lobby for a what seemed like too long a time just to put on a dress.
     Finally, I heard a voice call out from a small open door a little ways away.
     “Levi? Mr. Levi?” asked a well-dressed lady fairy.
     “Ah, that's me,” I replied as I approached.
     “Miss Phoebe is ready. One moment, please.”
     She closed the door. Then, that wall-- door and all-- lifted up like a garage door. In the now opened room were a couple of tailors and assistants whom I hardly noticed. In the middle of the room was Phoebe in her new dress, and she was breathtaking. It was made almost entirely from the moth's wings; black and iridescent blue, that shimmered and changed colors in the light. It was a sleeveless dress with the moth's orange fur as a sort of feathery collar.
     She looked up at me, and blushed shyly. “So... what do you think?”
     “You... you look great! They really did a good job, didn't they?”
     “I know, right?” she agreed. “It's a little weird though. I've never dressed up like this before. I mean... what do I...?”
     “You'll do fine,” I interrupted. “Trust me.”
     “I can't begin to thank you enough for this!”
     “Please, all I did was buy a bug online and trick you into visiting a fancy-pants dress shop. It was nothing.”
     She flew up and landed on my shoulder. “It wasn't nothing to me,” she said, and hugged the side of my neck.
     “Not to interrupt this touching moment,” said the store representative. “But there is still the matter of payment.”
     Phoebe laughed. I did not.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

By The Bridge


BY THE BRIDGE
By William Bowles

     I'm driving through some small town-- nowhere, really; It's not even on the map I have on the seat next to me. It's not my destination, either. Just one of the points along the way. But it's really late, so I'm trying to find a motel.
     Along the way, I come across this big, steel bridge over a river. Parked on the side by the bridge is a car. It's a dull, bluish four-door. No emergency blinkers or anything. It's just sitting there.
As I pass it, I see her. She's standing by the edge, looking down at the icy water below. I can't see her face, but she seems... sad. Empty, somehow.
     I slow down and pull over onto the shoulder. I stop, put on my blinkers, and get out.
     I walk over to where she's standing. I don't know just why, but that's what I do.

     "Hey," is all I say at first.
     She looks over, only mildly surprised. "What do you want?" She's not rude, just a shade suspicious.
     "Mind if I sit here for a minute?"
     She gets a bit defensive. "Oh, you gonna try and talk me out of it? You think I need you to save me? You think I want you to?"
     I feel my shoulders and my posture slacken a bit. "No. I just... I just wanna sit here for a bit. That okay?"
     She gives me a look. I think she's going for skeptical, but I don't know. People can be hard to read sometimes.
     "Oh? So you just don't care, then."
     Now I'm a tad frustrated. But mostly not with her.
     "No, it's just..." I take a breath. "At the moment, there's nothing I'd want more than for you to not go through with... this." I gesture towards the dark, churning river. She rolls her eyes. "But I can't make the choice for you. And I'm not here to try. I just... I just... Look, it's been a rough few days for me, and I just want someone to listen to me. Just for a moment."
     "You think you've had a rough time?" she retorts.
     I laugh. There's no humor in it.
     "You have a point there. It's just, there's two ways this can go, if you let me sit here. One, I get to talk to someone for a bit. And for what it's worth, you get to know that you made someone's day a little bit better before you go. Two, maybe, somehow, you find some reason not to do it. Not for me. Not because I stopped you. But because, maybe you'd have found something better than ending it." I sigh. "I dunno. I mean, if you've made up your mind, what have you got to lose. If nothing else, I'd appreciate the company."
     She hesitates.
     "I'm not trying to do you a favor. I'm asking a favor of you. I just really need this. If it's okay with you."
     She lets out a sigh, and nods.
     I walk forwards and sit with my feet dangling over the edge. She sits, too-- about ten feet away, knees pulled in close to her.

     For a while, there's only silence. Aside from the cold lapping of waves against the rocks and the bridge supports below.

     "So..." she says. "What's your deal?"
     I absentmindedly pick up a bit of indistinct debris and toss it out into the water. I don't like the feel of it-- seeing it fall down, down to the blackness.
     "I just... I don't know what I'm doing anymore, ya know? It's like..."
     I don't say what it's like. I just trail off.
     She nods. I think she knows what I mean, but suspect she doesn't want to admit it-- like that be me winning a point, somehow. Not sure why I think she thinks that. I just do.
     "I just want someone to listen. Just once. I mean, people hear me. But I don't think they're really interested. Like, they listen out of some sense of obligation, but they're not really invested or whatever. You know what I mean?"
     She nods.
     "I don't know what I'm doing. It's been a long time since I've had any idea what I was doing. I don't know..."
     She nods again.
     "How 'bout you?" I ask. She doesn't respond. She just keeps looking out into the blackness of the world just outside the dull yellow glow of the street lights.
     The conversation isn't about her. I don't know that, but she does.
     "I just want to know that it all worked out, or... something like that. I don't know. I want something-- just one thing-- to work out the way I had hoped. Or if not, at least something else just as well."
     She nods.

     The talk goes on like that for a bit. I say something, she says nothing. I say something else, and she remains quiet, but understanding. Then I run out of things to say. Or rather, things to be said there and then.

     I stand up.
     She stands, as well.
     "I think that's about it," I say. "Thank you for listening to me ramble on."
     She nods. "Yeah."
     I shake my head.
     "No. I don't think you understand. I've needed to be able to talk to someone, just really talk to someone-- open and honest like that for a long time. It really meant a lot to me that you listened. Thank you."
     She says nothing. But it's not the nothing of someone with nothing to say. It's the nothing of someone who doesn't know how to.
     Somehow, she knows what to do. She steps forward and puts her arms around me, and I respond in kind. I didn't even know how much I needed a hug, but as I'd said, I it was a long time since I knew anything.

     After several seconds, she steps back.

     "I'd better get going," I say. I have nowhere to be, but I feel it's time to go.
     She nods.
     "Maybe... I'll see you around some time?"
     She nods, and smiles. Her mouth smiles, that is. Her eyes do not.
     I take a few steps towards my car, and she sits by the edge, her feet hanging over. I want her to come with me. I want to stay with her. But neither will happen. Not tonight, at least.
     I don't like walking away from her, leaving her where she was before I came along. But something's different. There's something different about her. I like to think that maybe she changed her mind. I hate to think that she might still go through with it. More over, I hate to think of her suffering in any way. I just want things to be better for her. I love her. Maybe it's just in the moment, but this night I love her in the way you do when you care about someone else's well being more than your own.
     As I get in my car, I hope she takes this chance to try again-- to keep on going.
     As I turn the keys, I hope and pray that life gets better for her.
     I also secretly wish that she'd come with me and leave behind the bridge and the bluish car and the cold, black night... but that's just for me. That's what I want for me. And while our talk was for me, the leaving was for her. And so I left.

     I don't know if she went through with it or not. I hope she did not, but I don't get to make that choice. It's one of the many things I don't know. But that's alright. I wasn't there to save her life. I'm not even sure if she saved mine. Our paths crossed for only a moment, and perhaps that crossing changed nothing. No lives were saved. Most likely, none were in peril to begin with. Not all stories are about losses suffered or losses prevented. Maybe it's enough just to be heard.

     So thank you for hearing me.







Thursday, March 8, 2018

Thinking Man


THINKING MAN
By William Bowles

    I sat on a broken wall with Paellano, trying to get a cigarette lit, talking about the sort of everyday things a soldier misses after a few weeks of active duty. I just about had the damn thing lit when Captain Molisho appeared from around a corner. I dropped the match as we stood at attention, and it fell into the snow and went out.

    "Davoro," Molisho said, in as friendly a tone as a commanding officer can to a common soldier. "Come with me."
    I handed the cigarette to Paellano as I passed him, and followed the captain; the eyes of the other men watched us discreetly as we went.

    "The prisoners know nothing," Molisho explained as we walked through the city ruins. "They are just militia. If even that."
    "They certainly did not fight like trained men," I agreed.
    We came to the plaza where the eight captives stood facing an old cobblestone wall. The soldier with the burned face sat casually, leaning against the statue in the middle of the plaza; the huge 18-pound rifle lay across his lap.
    He nodded at me, and  I returned the gesture, though I could not remember his name.
    Molisho faced me, and nodded towards the prisoners, but I knew what was going on the moment I took in the scene.
    "Why do you want me to do this?" I asked, in as neutral a tone as I could. "He could have done just as well."
    "I know he could," Molisho said. "And that is why I didn't ask him to."
    "I don't understand," I replied.
    "Look. Davoro. I know how you are. How you feel about all these things," he said to me, picking up on my reluctance.
    "Do I not fight obediently?"
    "You do," he said understandingly. "You will fight men with guns who try to kill you, but would you execute prisoners if ordered to?"
    I lifted my rifle and looked down the sights at the eight resistance fighters; unarmed, malnurished men and-- I noticed then-- two teenage boys and a woman. They were broken, inferior, and ultimately useless. If we hadn't captured them, they would have been killed by the next Olastran company they'd have tried to ambush. They knew they were done fore. They waited to die.
    "Do it," Molisho said.
    I hesitated.
    "Is something wrong?" he said. There was a hint of suppressed annoyance. "Do it."
    I did nothing.
    "Did you not hear me?" he asked in irritation. "Put them down."
    "No," I said, lowering the rifle.
    One of the prisoners dared to glance back.
    My commander turned with a wicked glare to me. "Do it now, or you will be tried for insubordination." He pulled back his coat; casually, yet intentionally revealing the pistol holstered at his side. Just in case I wasn't acquainted the front line legal system.
    "No. I won't do it," I said to him with finality.
    It was at that time that he decided that I would die. I was a traitor. I really was. However, as he reached for his gun, a thought came to me, and it went something like this:
    The difference between a man drawing a gun and a man holding a gun is that the man holding a gun gets to shoots first.
    I found the notion intriguing, and decided to test the theory. Turns out I was right.

    The sudden gunshot caught the guard's attention. Looking up, he saw Molisho tumble to the ground like a marionette freed from its strings; the pistol dropping from his hand. The soldier tried to get to his feet, but fumbled the cumbersome rifle.
    "Shit!" Was all he managed to say in his baffled shock.
    I turned the gun at him, but stopped. He got the message and froze as still as I. He stared at me, slack-jawed and saucer-eyed, trying to figure out why in God's name I would murder our commanding officer, especially as he had shown favor in me amongst our battalion.
    "Davoro..." He whispered pleadingly.
    I didn't shoot him though-- the man with the burned face. He was a tainted cog in a tainted machine, but he wasn't the worst of them. And besides-- at that moment, he was as helpless as the prisoners. Sure, he wasn't as innocent, but he was defenseless nonetheless.
    "Stand up," I said. "And keep quiet."
    He did as I said, wisely laying the gun on the ground in front of him.
    The captives were all watching now. I spoke to my old prisoners while keeping an eye on my new one.
    "We better get going now."
    I picked up Molisho's handgun, then went to the burnt faced man and took the heavy rifle. Without another word, we backed away, and snuck off. I never did see him again. Or Paellano. Or any of my company. For this, I am immensely grateful. Some of them were my friends, and I would rather not have to kill them.

    I never did remember that man's name.

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I believe I wrote this around September 2013, but I can't say for sure.

It was inspired by the story of a German soldier in WWII named Josef Schulz, who (according to legend) refused to execute a group of prisoners. Instead, he took off his helmet, put down his gun, and stood with them. Then he died with them. According to legend.
The similarities are clear, but so are the differences.

As always, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, and your feedback is much appreciated!